Better

Ok so I really really hate posting things like I posted before,  I feel like a bad person, I feel crazy, I feel wrong.  I do have to control myself and not write negative things all the time.  I am not a totally negative person but sometimes it seems way easier to be negative or point out negative than it is to be positive.  For me I used to use my blog for ranting.  Which is good sometimes but then I thought if people read this and think thats all I am like they are going to get a poor picture of me.  So I have tried to curb using my blog just for rants, I don't know if I have been super successful but I have tried really hard.

But I am glad I posted earlier, I feel so much better, and I pinpointed my problem of this week.  And now I know what I need to work on and how to change my attitude and ultimately help me to be a better wife. 

I would have still been crazy this week having four kids to take care of on my own, but not so much if there hadn't been an underlying situation I was dealing with.

I have identified it and now I am working to find a solution to fix the problem.

So I am sorry for the negativity and craziness of earlier, but then again I feel so much more relief to have it out and to know what needs to be fixed.  Its like I knew what was wrong, but just acknowledging it and saying it out loud has helped, doesn't make sense but hey it helped.